Mailing party

Fall is such a wonderful season. There is this dark beauty in everything, leaves turn golden and the clouds pay fleeting visits. That is what makes it a perfect time to ask our supporters to lend a hand. Every year, we bring out a newsletter showcasing our work and our team. This years' is here with our solicitation letter. Give it a read.

All of us at the mailing party -

Tribute to Chica

If there is a doggie heaven, there is no doubt that Chica will be there. Chica was our office dog. She was a big black dog with a child's enthusiasm. Everytime I would show up at the door, she would bark and follow me to my seat. She did that for everyone, whether she knew them or not. It was her welcome. I have never had a dog or played with one much. Chica was a chance for me to know dogs and play with them. Chica was tall enough to reach my lap and would always huff on me after drinking water. So as a precaution, I would rest my hands on the desk, to avoid getting sprayed. Everytime I would want to get up, I would have to slide the chair back slowly as Chica would be curled up below it. One small move and she would spring up and bound away. I guess she liked the warmth. The best thing was that every day when I closed the door after me Chica would be the last thing I saw and I would say to a pondering Chica, 'Bye Chica '  

Today when I went in, no dog barked; no dog followed me to the seat and no dog sat curled below my chair. Most of all, the space below the coffee table where Chica took her afternoon nap is empty and I cannot say my good-bye to her today.

Keep out of reach of children

As a parent, I can understand how one is concerned about what children come across and read. We are worried they may be reading adult material. But imagine what will happen if WE, as adults read children's books. You may chance upon some pretty interesting and funny stuff. Now, more than ever, Bibi's words ring in my ears. She always says that words have a very huge impact and they should be used with care. This concept is used famously in our Mind Talk sessions of the program. But words like the below can only leave you wondering...

There are some children's books that are specially written for immigrants and children from other nationalities to introduce them to this wonderful country. I found this in a children's book – “United States of America: Enchantment of the World” - in a chapter on sports in the USA....

'.....whether it's hoops star Shaquille O'Neal pounding down the court or kids at the local park, the crowd goes wild over a good slam dunk.'

If one reads this casually, without any prior knowledge of the good man that he is or the idiosyncrasies of the English language, it could seem that Shaquille pounds kids at the local park and the crowd tears his house down.  I hope these foreign kids don't go online to check out such word plays...because what they will get is a YouTube video entitled 'Shaquille O'Neal is Coming for Your Fat Children!' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuTYryytIYg).

With so much information running amok and words written loosely all over the internet, I would not want to be a chubby foreigner.

 

To the Juno(s) out there

Today I met a teacher of a continuation school. All her students are pregnant or young mothers ranging from age 13 to 18. These continuation schools are looked down upon because of their low test scores. Sometimes there is talk about shutting them down to “mainstream” the kids, i.e. send the students back to regular school where they will have to focus on the academic subjects like regular kids. But what is regular about a 13 year old who has an equally young boy friend and is living with a 1 year old, having to care and provide for the child with whatever money their families may have? Is Math that important right now for them? When I was working with grassroots education in rural areas, there would always be a two pronged approach - teach the young ones basics and teach the adults skills. Why can this not be true for urban areas? These kids have had their youth snatched from them. They have been thrown out into the real world to become adults. Closing our eyes to this will not make it better. The time for basics is gone. Before all the basics might get covered, they are out on the streets, hating school and getting into trouble.

They need life skills even more than regular school work...because they don't attend all grades...because they cannot concentrate on studies....because before learning to draw a graph, they need to know that the decisions they make will affect at least two lives. They don't need moralizing; they don't need people to tell them what they did wrong. They need new hope for life and skills to cope with their new lives.

The teacher knows and understands all this, but very rarely does anyone - Life Skills providers or folks from the school district - go out into the field and talk to the teachers who know the real concerns. She also shared with me how the support of the kids’ families makes a huge difference. Many of these girls have lived with the boyfriends’ parents. And two families came together to raise what many would call a 'mistake'. Kudos to such families. Unfortunately, not everyone is Juno.

Something old, something new

I am a proud Metro user. When I started working for Forward Step, I was new to LA and in all my life I had come to believe that anyone can travel safe and fast with public transport. I was right...not that I haven't had my share of irritated drivers, lewd homeless passengers and delayed buses. As I waited for my bus today, I noticed that it was 11 minutes late. That meant I would miss my connecting bus because to go anywhere takes 2 buses. When the bus came, I flashed my pass at the driver to let him know he has messed with a regular. I sat in the bus and practiced breathing exercises. I figured that if our program recommended it to find perspective in conflicting situations, it must help. I looked around and noticed why I was the only one needing the exercise. At that non-peak hour, all the others in the bus were seniors. These people were old and feeble and looked quite well to do.

I felt bad seeing them get on and off the bus for two stops. I am sure that driving a car for such small distances would have been safer and easier for them than walking two blocks to get on a bus. The only conclusion I could draw is that they had no one who cared enough for them to drive them to where they needed to go. In all this hype about independent living, it may have become old fashioned to care. And agreed, most of the seniors would not give up their freedom. But it is just like caring for children who are uncared for. Both are at different ends of the bell-curve of life. But just because they are at the unfavorable end (without a future) - does that mean their needs are not good enough? When did we start optimizing human services?

Another kind of hit and run

I stood at the enterprise Rent a Car center waiting for my car. It was a busy evening and the road was buzzing with cars. About 50 feet away, I saw a small boy crossing in the middle of the road. Vehicles came to a screeching halt as he weaved his way through them playfully. He had almost crossed over when one car came at a high speed and hit him. The kid flew and fell on the road, his cap and shoes flying with him. He just lay there, making no sound or movement.

I ran to the spot. People from other cars had come out to look at him. Someone screamed, "Call 911". The lady whose car hit him stood motionless in shock. She collapsed at a nearby bench waiting for the ambulance. Slowly the boy came to his senses and started crying feebly. An unknown man got out of his car and talked soothingly to the child; another lady brought out paper napkins to stop the bleeding; the neighboring store called 911; the ambulance and police had arrived and the news helicopters were buzzing above the whole scene. The only thing missing was some person who took responsibility for the kid.

No family member or guardian appeared even when the kid was taken into the ambumed. Everyone knew the kid was running from the McDonalds on the opposite side of the street. He couldn't have been there all by himself. It felt sad that such a small child could be left loose on the road without a care in the world.

Just the next day, I was discussing the COMPASS life skills program with a colleague where we have a whole session on consequences of actions and I found myself thinking, 'That kid has learnt that lesson for life; but at a very high price. If only he had someone who could have taught him that without needing to have a first hand experience.'

Andrew Bridge: An inspiration

This article appeared in the February issue of RD. It is about former-foster kid, Andy Bridge and how he has changed the foster care system. It is a must read for anyone who thinks they can make a difference, but is up against a stone wall. It keeps me motivated and energized. Go ahead. Give it a click!http://www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/andrew-bridge-fighting-for-foster-kids/article52012.html